Showing posts with label Authenticity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Authenticity. Show all posts

04 July 2016

White Chinese / Mandarin Lobotomy / Bleached Behavior: On the initial building of a chink’s view on other chinks and success (Part 2)


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月就不新,永不会新
Part I: INTRODUCTION
Early on, in the dayz of way back, a chink hopped across the sea and found himself in North America, land of the free, the excluded chinks, the enslaved blacks.[1] A chink, as all good chinks should, went to Chinese school, and before long, a chink learned that not all chinks spoke alike.[2] First a chink meet up with them canto FOBs, then a chink meets them southern FOBs, then a chink meet them white FOBs from the north, yet still to this day, a chink hasn’t met too many real desert FOBs with that dark skin and wavy hair (none of that perm shit).[3]

Of course beautiful thing is, people (of a certain tint) would have you believe that chinks all kind of look like pandas with straight black hair and squinty eyes. It’s easier to hate the orientals coming for your jobs (not your wives or food because those orientals wear strange clothes and seem to be a feminine (?)) when you can envision a wave of similar looking celestials.[4] Obviously not true, but when you grow up with people saying this, it’s almost like people just want you to think about the Chinese as a singular cloud that’s a chink, so whites don’t really have to think of you as individuals, but instead an individual collective, which takes away your claim to be a person. In reality, a chink darker than Greeks and quite a few Indians and middle easterns. It’s easy to think that all chinks are alcohol intolerant, lactose intolerant, rice devouring stickmen. Chinks much more complex than that. People like to imagine that chinkland is one uniform people. We not white bruh, but the chinks trying to connect all chinks in one identity are white. Now, toeing the CCP line, we one big family, but even a family different. This is the problem I have with the idea of a pluralist collective, and the problem most people have with the melting pot. The idea of a big family isn’t any good but for the people at the fore. The idea of familial care, dare I say paternalism, is debasing for immigrants. I don’t fucking want you to pretend to coddle me. I don’t want you to pretend to accept me. I know you never will, so don’t even fucking front. I much prefer a world where you have to fight to keep your culture, where your culture is the only thing you have in the new land. I don’t fucking want your white help, unless I know your help is in pure good faith, if not, you’re just handing me an apple with the core rotten.[5] You should have to fight to preserve your culture. But being white, you already get to. French people, British people, any European people (now at least, sixty years ago, very different), get welcomed and greeted and exalted because you look the same, you’re all white. And how did you all become white? Because of the chinks put between you and the blacks. Chink laborers had to be put below eastern you’reallpee-ans and mediteranians so the anglos[6] could preserve the beauty of whiteness because they, as you probably have realized, a lot of chinks are white. So, yes European nationalism is white supremacy. I will never retract from that. And your nationalism is why my culture is secluded to strip malls, fat choy ching chong and chop suey.

The chinks are only a family because we fall in the same borders. Chinkland is fractured to the point where where northerners hate southerners, everyone hates the dark skinned, minority are fucked with, and the colonial gem of hong kong thinking they’re white, hating on the rest of the mainland, while jews still live in the ghettoes, but so do the muslims.[7] Chinkland is complicated and a young chink growing up in provincial China didn’t really know that chinks spoke differently than his hicks. In a way, this was probably the most significant contribution to young wei’s self-hatred and disgust towards Chinkland. From about 6-18, I hated chinks beyond anything else. Or maybe, a chink just don’t like rich hong kong people who pretend they’re british. Their elites have a post-colonial fetish where they think that because they’re colonized, they better than mainland Chinese. The sentiment is that because they were british servants they’re better than chinks, who were exploited treaty bodies. Ha. That’s my problem with the hong kong superiority complex and it’s not even most hong kong people. The hong kong people who are the colonial machine vastly outnumber the manipulators of the machine but have their voices quashed by the white Chinese hong kong people. The ones who speak only Cantonese get stamped out by the English speaking dogs. Hong Kong elites are affronts to China, I have no reservations on this. The rich in hong kong only get rich by sucking british cock. Same as any sort of white people in a formerly colonized land. None of those people have success without exploiting colored bodies. After the colonization, it still doesn’t stop. Now that hong kong is no longer british, who made you richer? The mainland chinks’ blood. No respect for hong kong elites. When the western media speaks of 富二代as they incessantly do now, they speak of almost exclusively hong kong elites, communist party decendants, and mainland slave trade operators.

Back to chink school. First off, a chink started in traditional Chinese school (lol) because that’s just what a chink’s parents knew of chink schools, absolutely nothing. In reality, this was just a bunch of lols and probably made a chink even more backwards and self-hating. Young wei knew some 500 chink words and some 100 chink poems before the boat, not that impressive, but solid for a five-year-old chink who never really been to school. Sadly, a chink forgot all this because a chink went to traditional Chinese school and forgot all the simplified Chinese a boy already knew. Part of this is lack of exposure to Chinese at this point outside of Chinese school. Part of this is the desire to become a white boi. Part of this is because a chink boi was lazy. Part of this was because a chink boi didn’t like other chinks in chink school because they were all Cantonese speaking motherfuckers richer than young wei. None of this justifies young wei’s failure to maintain language, but part of this attests to the difficulty of being a chink in a foreign land where he got nothing to show him that it’s worth being a chink since all the rich chinks slaving mopping restaurants slinging chop suey and a chinks parents frying burgers with masters degrees and broken chingrish.[8] Nobody wants to be like this.

Speaking chink was just an extension of this disparate state. What’s the point of knowing chink script if it makes you less white. That shit just gonna splatter on the bamboo ceiling when you inevitably hit it. Your stupid ass, self-ashamed foundation make-up at the fucking price of your life per gram is gonna wear away slowly and surely as you keep living a lie. The chink that knows chink language and uses a chink name is not a pretend white, so nobody gonna treat him equitably like a white. Now that chinks have some semblance of self-respect, chinks shouldn’t use bitch ass white names. Back then, it was for survival. Now that we’re past that, chinks have a choice. But, as soon as a chink let a white name them, render them, damn, you done. Kung PAO chicken


[1] Obviously, a chink knows there are many other cases of people getting fucked, but a chink finds the history of chinks and blacks most compelling, for him, because if you reading this, you coming to hear the opinion of a chink, not all chinks, because a chink’s opinions do not equal the opinions of all chinks, because contrary to public opinion, chinks aren’t all the same, but shit, that’s what it be. Anyways, a chink acknowledge that various other ethnic groups get fucked with, but a chink personally (keyword being ‘personally’) engages most with the story of blacks and chinks. Shit, both end with k’s. So two strikeouts. Maybe in search of a third, maybe a strikeout looking.
[2] Granted, I was aware of the existence of Putonghua and supposedly at that time, I was pretty proficient in it. 妈老说边人家的人都说我们一家人的山汉就我一个说的话还好听着,哈哈。Yet, I was not aware that chinks spoke a variety of dialects beyond my own, coming from backwater desert China.
[3] Personal anecdote of note: a chink is not quite a ‘chink’ as most people would believe, a chink was / is a minority that was killed off. This is why a chink called Dang, the refers to the 党项族 of way back when my homeboys been ruling the part of chinkland that a chink was born in. This dynasty we called the Western Xia ruled by the Tanguts at the time when the rest of chink land was ruled by the Song man, the Han man of today, essentially.
[4] Them whitebois first loved the chinks when they first arrived in the frisco bay because those chinks were happy to do some work and then leave in a few to go home with that blood money. Back then when the chinks wore queues, robes, slanted eyes, strange voices, the white people called them celestials because these chinks seemed like beings sent from heaven to do the bidding of the whites. Crucially, these chinks were not the types to easily assimilate, and as such, it was easier to put them in their own lane, away from the regular world. When these chinks started to veer into the lane of regular americans, they became ‘aliens.’ Note the semantic shift, but the lexical parallel.
[5] To use a whiteman idiom lol.
[6] In this sentence, I don’t care to spell your names properly, because hey, no one bothers to learn how to spell Chinese people names properly and we apparently the most populous people and the most powerful.
[7] I love chinese muslims. As a kid, I always had the goddamn greatest food from muslims. The great thing about chink muslims is that there is virtually no way to distinguish them from a normal chink unless they wear their garb. The uyghurs that get the terrorist rep are ironically white looking. I actually went to the chingchong market the other day and a white woman, who I recognized as Uyghur because of her name, spoke to me in fluent mandarin, dare I say more standard, more 标准 than mine lol.
[8] Disagree with me if you want, but this just the world I saw. Parents both worked cantonese restaurants. Moms also worked fast food, pops also worked fast food. Only rich people a chink knew was Cantonese people working in restaurants. Yet, a chink met so few white bois in school whose parents were as educated or ballbusting as a chink’s parents and their friends. Way it goes. Only to hit a bamboo ceiling.

03 July 2016

White Chinese / Mandarin Lobotomy / Bleached Behavior : Introduction (Part 1)


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This is the first part of a lengthy reflection on Chinese school and the ways white chinks (han chinks etc) try to disassociate country/colored chinks from their homeland/heartland roots to create a uniformized white China. There is no white China. Historically and presently, China is by nature fragmented and diverse, no less diverse than any western country bred by immigration. This is why this series titled White Chinese / Mandarin Lobotomy / Bleached Behavior exists. This is why chinks are in a unique situation in America. This is potentially why chinks should not ‘ally’ with any others before figuring out a way to properly connect with the homeland. 

Aphasia, spawned from hatred and not medical impairment, is the strongest way to suppress a chink. Inability to properly, intuitively communicate in Chinese is however not something that may be directly blamed on white people, rather a whiteness seeping into everything.[1] Whites win when they can erase everything else. Important to note, a white person is, unequivocally always teeming with whiteness. This is the inherent tragedy. A white chink, essentially someone who uses Asian-American as a way to fit in two spaces, is neither Asian nor American. The naming powers of the dominant white language turn these people into bifurcated shadows.[2] Yet, an uncle chan chink or uncle tom black will never be white. Their compounded color will always be dirty. They’ll always be off-white, off-yellow, off-black. When these people try to become white in their own countries, they take up power over the non-whites because people inherently love whiteness for the freedom it purportedly gives.

The mandarinization[3] of chinese is the most pertinent example of imposed whitewashing of distinct cultural vessels in China. Quashing and denigrating regional dialects is no different than cookie-cuttering a chink. Take this one degree further in America, and you lobotomize from the chink his history held in pre-memory.[4] Chinese schools that teach uniform white Putonghua accents melt down every single chink identity into a bleached parole that viscerally solders off a chink from his homeland. The young chink who previously only spoke with his parents is grafted by Chinese schools to become another pawn of white-chink supremacy. The chink’s throat is slit harder than it would be if it were chopped, as the appearance of a language, of the capacity to communicate is stings harder than not being able to. The orality of a person to externalize thought is now filtered through this new, alien accent. A promise of culture that is quickly razed to dead roots is worst than not even giving it to them. The unique space that chinks in America encounter leaves them in an incubator for whites to shape.

As a chink in America loses the intrinsic ties to his regional ‘native’ dialect or language, English becomes a surrogate, adopted native language. To manipulate it and transform it is to create a new colony inside the colonizer’s[5] world. To surpass a colonizer in English is for the colonized a way to regain his nativism. The creation of foreign accents and different registers of speech is a sly way to use linguistic capital to make others out of minorities. When a minority member speaks the colonized language at the same level, or better, the cultural imperialist invites the minority into a shared whiteness and attempts to erase the chink side of a chink to create a chink that speaks, acts, dresses as a white, but, crucially, looks a chink. This way of creating the other is perhaps worst that specifically segregating a chink. When a chink is put aside into a group of his own, he is still allowed to be in a group of his own. When a chink is put inside a group of unlike people, he is allowed to be in a group and owned. This could be named linguistic tokenization.

So, a chink loves to hear it from people on how a chink can’t speak or write it properly, or that a chink don’t know grammar, or that a chink only uses offensive language.[6] I don’t want to write that way. I don’t want to speak that way. This isn’t my language. This is borrowed time in which I am the other speaking with your language, making you the other. You’re jarred because I want you to be. This is the only defense I have to find some sort of language. There is no middle ground where I can successfully live as a chink and a white, but in the overlap, I can use your whiteness to make something of a chink. The only method a chink has to make something of himself is subversion. And for a chink to reconnect with the chink heritage he has, a chink needs to fight back against the lobotomization of his mind through regular modes of conduct, standardized modes of language, all culminating in the need to be an outsider to be an individual.




[1] From now on, when speaking of ‘white,’ a chink intends the oppressive nature of power structures. Subservient chinks are called white, blacks call uncle toms white, abstractions can be white, etc. Baseline: white is dominance in erasure.
[2] But a white will always be white. A light skinned person with European heritage will always be white. A white homeless person will still be white. A white person who is from a corrupt colored county will always be white.
[3] This process started in the Ming dynasty, but has roots all the way back to based chink chinkfucius and other upper-class aristocrats. Chinks from way back have been taught to put the regional dialect and its atavistic roots below the blanched lingua franca of Putonghua. Putonghua, of course, has no roots in soil, no roots in blood. Putonghua is the invention by the courts for communication purposes. Mandarinization, a forced education started by the Communists, aimed and aims to uniformize chinks, especially minorities to create a unified family of chinks. In effect, this is white supremacy manifest for chinks in the name of 大汉注意 (Han supremacy), a doctrine also without much roots as the Han are a mosaic of various  鲜卑匈奴people, the ancient version of modern huns, Mongolians, etc.
[4] The intrinsic ties that a chink or any sort of human has to their history is in the desire to connect with their origin. In this case, pre-memory is the chink who grows up at home and then leaves it before truly knowing what home is. The only way for that chink to ‘go home’ is to speak the tongue of his ancestors, of his roots.
[5] By this sort of colonialism is meant cultural colonialism that seeks to assimilate and streamline communication. The form of language is molded into a proper way to communicate. I am vehemently against this. For script, I believe that there are protocols to follow, but none that are so rigid that can’t be broken. For speech, I do not believe that there are any protocols to follow, within measure of comprehensibility. If a speech or script invites and requires further inspection to get at a meaning not immediately, or superficially attainable, this sort of speech should be valued. Of course, most speech disseminated as a text-heavy mode of communication should invite this added layer of interrogation.
[6] One thing I’ve never understood is the aversion to ‘foul’ language. I think it adds color to writing. And since all the fuckbois are always talking ‘authenticity’ these days, all I’m trying to do in using vulgar vernac is to show the inherent shit of English. Also, this is just how a chink talks. The greatest compliment I get from fans is that Country Chink Broadsides sounds EXACTLY like ya boi poorhomiewei yelling at you about random shit. So, yes, this may seem heavily ‘stylized’ and ‘vulgar,’ but a chink not gonna write to you in a way he don’t talk to you. Think of all the blogposts here as transcriptions of a chink’s speeches, to an audience that may or may not exits. (hey, at the end of the dia, this blog no es para los blancos o the readers, rather, it’s a way for a chink to have a voice, converted from the oral to the aural to the textual.) think about it, you don’t truly appreciate much that’s made with the end in mind to cater to your needs. Things should be able to stand individuated.

09 June 2016

Proust Questionnaire (feat. poorhomiewei and 党唯予)


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the great french novelist marcel proust
党唯予: before we start, I’d like to file for a name change. Henceforth, I shall be referred to as Walter Dang.
poorhomie wei: fine, a chink is also going to change his name, well, rather present an alternative name. in fact, a chink gonna take your name and brink it back some honor, you fuckboi. go suck a white cock.
Text Editor (TE): So, abbreviations?
Wallace Dang: WD
poorhomie wei: 党唯予
TE: ha.

TE: so, onto the show. It’s come to my attention that you clowns want to fill out a variant of a Proust Questionnaire. Let’s go.

DEMOGRAPHICS
 

QUESTIONNAIRE

What is your perfect idea of happiness?

WD: Not having to worry about people thinking of me. A variant of the invisible man where I can just glide by and go about my interests and not have to think of my place in the world. I hope for a kind of happiness where my role in life is assured and guided. I everyone to have a right to self identify. I want people to assume identities. I guess my state of perfect happiness is a world where there are no more identities? Or at least one where they are in flux and everyone has a choice to make.

党唯予: Jesus bruh, that’s a perverted ass happiness. The fuck does “[identities] in flux and everyone has a choice to make” even mean? Like fuck, people don’t deserve the right to be so ashamed of their heritage and what makes them so successful and comfortable in life as to just throw them away and identify, associate, ally, whatever-the-fuck-buzzword-verb with what’s gonna make them feel better about their shitty ass selves. Everyone is a little shit. That’s the way it is. I don’t think there needs any real change to that. That’ll eviscerate everything of meaning / referential stasis in life. My happiness is one where people can come to terms with the way they are and the historicity behind what they are. Happiness doesn’t mean the end of conflict to me. Happiness is where the conflicts are actually productive and don’t produce covert forms of fuckboi/girl-ery. It’s where people are capable of critically thinking without having their emotions delude them. And I guess that in itself is impossible—it’ll call for a complete partitioning of reason and sensibility. So, I guess in the end, this is a stupidass question that has no real meaning and only applies to idealist fucks who can’t see reality or can’t bear to see it because they’re too fucking un-self-aware. There. My compromise is where people are smart enough to be self-aware, in a logical manner.

What is your greatest fear?

WD: Being slighted, being pushed aside by the world. My greatest fear is to not be able to connect with the world. I don’t want to be disliked or disparaged. I also don’t want to disrupt the harmony for others. The order of things works. I don’t want it broken. I fear a disrupted world

党唯予: JESUS, YOU FUCKING BOOTLICKER. The hierarchy is meant put down contradictions like us fucking chinks. They made the hierarchy to get ride of inconveniences like a chink who doesn’t want to do what a chink has always done. I don’t even need to remind you what the fuck that means, like Jesus, get the fuck outta here. You want a sustained system? Fuck. You don’t even care about history. You don’t even care about how things are made. You want the status quo, you’re fucking happy to pretend that the world never changed that the world was never any different. You like one of those white hoes talking about 77 cents. Get the fuck outta here. Talk about the 33 cents a fucking Filipina lady gets. Myopic idiots. Even when a chink trying to move forwards, people like you pulling us back. White people happy with talking only of disparaged white people pull shit back. Chinks who are comfortable and perform the roles they’re meant to play are the ones pulling other chinks back. I’m only scared that no one’s every going put themselves aside for something better. I’m afraid that people are too comfortable to change. Jesus. I was talking with someone the other and I mentioned this, the difficulty of overcoming comfort. And they only wanted to profit off of it. They just wanted to make money off of people choosing comfort. If people can’t move away from comfort, fuck. That’s my greatest fear.
                                                                                                             
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

WD: not fitting in, disrupting the lives of others by accident

党唯予: that I don’t do enough to try to effect change

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

WD: iconoclasm, destabilization

党唯予: being nice and putting emotions above all, culminating in a perverted show of emotion over reason

Which living person do you most admire?

WD: Obama

党唯予: myself, if i can’t look at myself and be content enough to improve it, i’m fucked

What is your greatest extravagance?

WD: wanting things my way

党唯予: valuing my own opinion

What is your current state of mind?

WD: fine

党唯予: stupid question. Pass

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

WD: reason

党唯予: why the fuck do people always talk about virtue. Fine. Niceness

On what occasion do you lie?

WD: if it’s going to disrupt things

党唯予: as long as a chink don’t lie to himself

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

WD: nothing much. I’m happy looking the way i do, don’t really stand out that much.

党唯予: that i’m not chinky enough. nose is strangely white. Winters, i’d like to stay dark, a chink vain and hates that he gets pale-ish.

Which living person do you most despise?

WD: Donald trump.

 党唯予: ha. Fuckboi hackneyed answer. I’m gonna say taylor swift. Goof ass clown embodies everything i hate about white people. Literally lets men pull her strings and then calls herself some sort of feminist hero. Fake ass ‘singer’ dates calvin harris, noted sexist / racist. Has no colored friends. Straight up thinks that women are only white. Doesn’t even make interesting music only some earworm shit. Her and drake should fuck, have a kid and dominate streaming / twitter / fuckboi attention charts.

Culture vulture sculpture butcher / STITCHES STITCHES STITCHES. Jesus.

What is the quality you most like in a person?

WD: The ability to take criticism, to put aside self-interests for stability. I feel like people should, for the most part, strive towards some sort of stability and to put faith in the constancy of the world. There is an organic world at the depths of the one we live in and I think the detractors that hide this world are the ones who strive to destabilize nature. For example, a Chinese person is, by Confucian custom, pacific and generally servile (without trying to necessarily evade connotation). He doesn’t need to go against it if we’re to assume and believe that these traits are just part of being a Chinese man, but he does have to take criticism and think about how best to put external and internal together to find a more organic way of being.

党唯予: for once we agree, but only in a portion of that answer. A chink gotta take criticism, but not to sacrifice self-interests for stability. Take the criticism to make your self-interests stronger, which i believe goes hand in hand with the ability to take criticism. A chink gotta have integrity first and believe in his ideals, ones that don’t necessarily serve for stability. Ideally, there’s full subscription to the ideals. In a hardline way, as bad as that may be.  In fact, stability is boring as fuck, even in a marriage. Anything stable is dead. WD just wants to continue killing himself until he becomes another white spot in a white world. Those people are already gone and white, why do people want to continue doing that kind of shit.
[i’ve said jesus too many times]

on the idea that chinks are naturally subservient and whatever by Confucian custom, JESUS FUCKING MAO YOU STUPID ASS UNCLE CHAN. The idea of a docile Confucian chink man that just kind of does whatever is reality. The idea that this reality defines chinks and is an integral part of what chinks are is revisionist self-hatred. Why the fuck would a person think this is a good thing to preserve a twisted tradition. The organic society based upon mutual acceptance and trust in a system that sticks a broom up your ass is just sticking that broom further up your ass. Or rather, the kind of people that think pure cooperation and belief in a system like that are the kinds of people doing the sticking and not the receiving. Someone aligned with WD on these issues is likely the only person benefitting. That’s maybe the biggest fault in people.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

WD: I use words for politeness and try to use idioms to make communication comfortable. So, I don’t think I overuse any words.

党唯予: well, jesus for one. Maybe bruh. Maybe fiat. Fun question though. What bothers the fuck outta a chink is when idiots be spewing idiom after idiom and then confounding an idiom’s actual meaning with the meaning of the words inside. Straight up, learn the language or something.

Which talent would you most like to have?

WD:  I want to have Gandhi like powers of peace.

党唯予: Gandhi hates colored people that aren’t brown. Get the fuck outta here, of course you love that prick. I’d like the power to stop caring.

Where would you most like to live?

WD: I see my ideal location as Brentwood in LA. Like, you know, OJ Brentwood, putting aside, of course the whole purported psycho murderer OJ. Brentwood’s nice, man. Quaint place.

党唯予: in a pure vacuum, Yulin, shaanxi. But, a chink never get to go home again. Home isn’t there again. So a chink gonna answer with a fictive location: close proximity to a butcher, a chink grocery store, a wide variety of chink-run chink-made for-chink chinkstaurants, and ideally located on a public transit route.

What is your most treasured possession?

WD: My new identity and the freedom I have to be who I want, not circumscribed to the confines of a set race or whatever. Like I’m not Chinese, I’m white. Like a guy I know saying, I’m not white, I’m South African. That freedom in identity is what I cherish.

党唯予: hahahahahah

um well i guess i don’t treasure much. So a chink gonna say something like my refined taste for filtered coffees. No jokes. I’m gonna say the unique tolerance of spicy food and hick accent i’ve inherited in coming from Yulin, shaanxi, zhongguo. Wo ta made 也就是个山汉. Unlike mr. WD, i’m basically happy with the identity i have and don’t feel a need to pretend i’m something i’m not so people will accept me or to make the world more peaceful etc etc etc bitter etc. yeah i guess fucks would call me cisraced. Ha.

So my most treasured possession is strength of self-resilience and self-reliance.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

WD: That strange in between moment when— nah, I’m gonna say that moment when I realized it would be easier to change my name and stuff. So I guess thanks mr. 党唯予 for that bit of awkward discomfort.

党唯予: that reassures me of the power of discourse.

I guess the lowest depth of misery is what WD speaks of. It’s that point where you can’t accept yourself and have to change in stupid ways like taking a white name or start bring different food outside or worrying about whether that chink food lingers on your mouth or whether a white person is gonna discriminate against you because you aren’t named Sarah Johnson or some stupid shit like that.

What is your favorite occupation?

WD: resting

党唯予: doctor. Lol. No. let’s say being angry.

Who are your favorite writers?

WD: Pearl Buck, Amy Tan, Jane Austen, Shakespeare, Kipling.

党唯予: Joyce Carol Oates, Wally S., Frank O’Hara, maybe Milton.

Who is your hero/heroine of fiction?

WD: Wang Lung / Mulan (?)

党唯予: Jules Wendall / Eve or Black Water’s narrator

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

WD: Amy Tan. Helped Chinese women become women. I’d like to help Chinese men become Chinese men. That would be a worthwhile mission, you know? Like Amy Tan writes about Chinese moms bragging about their daughters and I grew up with Chinese moms bragging about their sons. Yeah, that’s a good struggle.

党唯予: 3 year old poorhomiewei who gave some chink kid in big city day care a concussion for making fun of his hick accent. Yeah, that’s the dream, to go back to the true ballin young chink. Might start a new rap career with the name yc 912.

A chink been really thinking about this recently and it doesn’t make too much sense to identify with some one not a chink him/herself. Like shit, old man Confuzi used to say that all practiced routines are just ways to mess up a chink and take him away from being more versatile. So, in a sense, the only chink a chink should be is a chink.

Don’t believe that anyone should try to ‘identify’ that much with another chink. When a chink ‘identify,’ he cedes his ‘identity’ to someone else’s idea. In a sense, that could alloy and become stronger, also, in a sense that just homogenizes everything.

A chink think a more accurate way to ask this question would use the verb ‘empathize,’ unless of course the goal of this dominant culture is to make clonebots of all the good past people. Like TS Eliot. Shit, man and that tradition shit. Boi believes everything predetermined according to the organic society and what is ‘good.’ A chink tired of that shit. More interesting would be to break out of that vacuum and have traditions on different strands. His tradition thang just trying to promote dominant culture. Anything that would subvert it needs to, of course subvert something. So, if it be a chink who creates something of this ‘tradition,’ it’s two traditions that come together and probably subverts the larger tradition. Ideally, a chink responding because he ‘empathizes’ not because he ‘identifies’ and gives in, since when he gives in, he become a little whiteboi.

What is your greatest regret?

WD: I guess not branching out enough. I don’t want to be part of the model minority, but there’s some value in it, just trying to make friends and shit. I guess what I really regret is not trying to find more stability in life. I feel like to really get something of worth out of ‘creativity’ or whatever, you need some sort of sound foundation.

党唯予: not being able to write as well as a chink’d like in chinkese. That and having a whiteboi name and shit. No more, no less.

How would you like to die?

WD: happy.

党唯予: surrounded by a harem in zhongnanhai and then embalmed and cased in a glass thing in the middle of Tiananmen so all them white tourists can a see a chink

TE: that’s not the question. They’re asking how you want to die not how you want to be remembered.

党唯予: fine, a chink wanna die slurping some lamb noodles and then gagging on the spices and texture of the noodles. But the death gotta be theatrical in some way, like it’s scripted, so not quite gagging, but moreso satisfaction, like if a chink eats his goddamn noodles and just closes his eyes and the body stays composed and a chink is able to maintain the squat position in the middle of the street. Of course, this would not occur in America. Only place to die would be the ancestral home. Yes, that’s a perfect way to die. It would be apotheosis. Yes.

WD / TE: ...

What is your motto?
                                               
WD: stupid question

党唯予: agree to agree