Showing posts with label Appropriation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Appropriation. Show all posts

09 June 2016

Proust Questionnaire (feat. poorhomiewei and 党唯予)


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the great french novelist marcel proust
党唯予: before we start, I’d like to file for a name change. Henceforth, I shall be referred to as Walter Dang.
poorhomie wei: fine, a chink is also going to change his name, well, rather present an alternative name. in fact, a chink gonna take your name and brink it back some honor, you fuckboi. go suck a white cock.
Text Editor (TE): So, abbreviations?
Wallace Dang: WD
poorhomie wei: 党唯予
TE: ha.

TE: so, onto the show. It’s come to my attention that you clowns want to fill out a variant of a Proust Questionnaire. Let’s go.

DEMOGRAPHICS
 

QUESTIONNAIRE

What is your perfect idea of happiness?

WD: Not having to worry about people thinking of me. A variant of the invisible man where I can just glide by and go about my interests and not have to think of my place in the world. I hope for a kind of happiness where my role in life is assured and guided. I everyone to have a right to self identify. I want people to assume identities. I guess my state of perfect happiness is a world where there are no more identities? Or at least one where they are in flux and everyone has a choice to make.

党唯予: Jesus bruh, that’s a perverted ass happiness. The fuck does “[identities] in flux and everyone has a choice to make” even mean? Like fuck, people don’t deserve the right to be so ashamed of their heritage and what makes them so successful and comfortable in life as to just throw them away and identify, associate, ally, whatever-the-fuck-buzzword-verb with what’s gonna make them feel better about their shitty ass selves. Everyone is a little shit. That’s the way it is. I don’t think there needs any real change to that. That’ll eviscerate everything of meaning / referential stasis in life. My happiness is one where people can come to terms with the way they are and the historicity behind what they are. Happiness doesn’t mean the end of conflict to me. Happiness is where the conflicts are actually productive and don’t produce covert forms of fuckboi/girl-ery. It’s where people are capable of critically thinking without having their emotions delude them. And I guess that in itself is impossible—it’ll call for a complete partitioning of reason and sensibility. So, I guess in the end, this is a stupidass question that has no real meaning and only applies to idealist fucks who can’t see reality or can’t bear to see it because they’re too fucking un-self-aware. There. My compromise is where people are smart enough to be self-aware, in a logical manner.

What is your greatest fear?

WD: Being slighted, being pushed aside by the world. My greatest fear is to not be able to connect with the world. I don’t want to be disliked or disparaged. I also don’t want to disrupt the harmony for others. The order of things works. I don’t want it broken. I fear a disrupted world

党唯予: JESUS, YOU FUCKING BOOTLICKER. The hierarchy is meant put down contradictions like us fucking chinks. They made the hierarchy to get ride of inconveniences like a chink who doesn’t want to do what a chink has always done. I don’t even need to remind you what the fuck that means, like Jesus, get the fuck outta here. You want a sustained system? Fuck. You don’t even care about history. You don’t even care about how things are made. You want the status quo, you’re fucking happy to pretend that the world never changed that the world was never any different. You like one of those white hoes talking about 77 cents. Get the fuck outta here. Talk about the 33 cents a fucking Filipina lady gets. Myopic idiots. Even when a chink trying to move forwards, people like you pulling us back. White people happy with talking only of disparaged white people pull shit back. Chinks who are comfortable and perform the roles they’re meant to play are the ones pulling other chinks back. I’m only scared that no one’s every going put themselves aside for something better. I’m afraid that people are too comfortable to change. Jesus. I was talking with someone the other and I mentioned this, the difficulty of overcoming comfort. And they only wanted to profit off of it. They just wanted to make money off of people choosing comfort. If people can’t move away from comfort, fuck. That’s my greatest fear.
                                                                                                             
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

WD: not fitting in, disrupting the lives of others by accident

党唯予: that I don’t do enough to try to effect change

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

WD: iconoclasm, destabilization

党唯予: being nice and putting emotions above all, culminating in a perverted show of emotion over reason

Which living person do you most admire?

WD: Obama

党唯予: myself, if i can’t look at myself and be content enough to improve it, i’m fucked

What is your greatest extravagance?

WD: wanting things my way

党唯予: valuing my own opinion

What is your current state of mind?

WD: fine

党唯予: stupid question. Pass

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

WD: reason

党唯予: why the fuck do people always talk about virtue. Fine. Niceness

On what occasion do you lie?

WD: if it’s going to disrupt things

党唯予: as long as a chink don’t lie to himself

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

WD: nothing much. I’m happy looking the way i do, don’t really stand out that much.

党唯予: that i’m not chinky enough. nose is strangely white. Winters, i’d like to stay dark, a chink vain and hates that he gets pale-ish.

Which living person do you most despise?

WD: Donald trump.

 党唯予: ha. Fuckboi hackneyed answer. I’m gonna say taylor swift. Goof ass clown embodies everything i hate about white people. Literally lets men pull her strings and then calls herself some sort of feminist hero. Fake ass ‘singer’ dates calvin harris, noted sexist / racist. Has no colored friends. Straight up thinks that women are only white. Doesn’t even make interesting music only some earworm shit. Her and drake should fuck, have a kid and dominate streaming / twitter / fuckboi attention charts.

Culture vulture sculpture butcher / STITCHES STITCHES STITCHES. Jesus.

What is the quality you most like in a person?

WD: The ability to take criticism, to put aside self-interests for stability. I feel like people should, for the most part, strive towards some sort of stability and to put faith in the constancy of the world. There is an organic world at the depths of the one we live in and I think the detractors that hide this world are the ones who strive to destabilize nature. For example, a Chinese person is, by Confucian custom, pacific and generally servile (without trying to necessarily evade connotation). He doesn’t need to go against it if we’re to assume and believe that these traits are just part of being a Chinese man, but he does have to take criticism and think about how best to put external and internal together to find a more organic way of being.

党唯予: for once we agree, but only in a portion of that answer. A chink gotta take criticism, but not to sacrifice self-interests for stability. Take the criticism to make your self-interests stronger, which i believe goes hand in hand with the ability to take criticism. A chink gotta have integrity first and believe in his ideals, ones that don’t necessarily serve for stability. Ideally, there’s full subscription to the ideals. In a hardline way, as bad as that may be.  In fact, stability is boring as fuck, even in a marriage. Anything stable is dead. WD just wants to continue killing himself until he becomes another white spot in a white world. Those people are already gone and white, why do people want to continue doing that kind of shit.
[i’ve said jesus too many times]

on the idea that chinks are naturally subservient and whatever by Confucian custom, JESUS FUCKING MAO YOU STUPID ASS UNCLE CHAN. The idea of a docile Confucian chink man that just kind of does whatever is reality. The idea that this reality defines chinks and is an integral part of what chinks are is revisionist self-hatred. Why the fuck would a person think this is a good thing to preserve a twisted tradition. The organic society based upon mutual acceptance and trust in a system that sticks a broom up your ass is just sticking that broom further up your ass. Or rather, the kind of people that think pure cooperation and belief in a system like that are the kinds of people doing the sticking and not the receiving. Someone aligned with WD on these issues is likely the only person benefitting. That’s maybe the biggest fault in people.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

WD: I use words for politeness and try to use idioms to make communication comfortable. So, I don’t think I overuse any words.

党唯予: well, jesus for one. Maybe bruh. Maybe fiat. Fun question though. What bothers the fuck outta a chink is when idiots be spewing idiom after idiom and then confounding an idiom’s actual meaning with the meaning of the words inside. Straight up, learn the language or something.

Which talent would you most like to have?

WD:  I want to have Gandhi like powers of peace.

党唯予: Gandhi hates colored people that aren’t brown. Get the fuck outta here, of course you love that prick. I’d like the power to stop caring.

Where would you most like to live?

WD: I see my ideal location as Brentwood in LA. Like, you know, OJ Brentwood, putting aside, of course the whole purported psycho murderer OJ. Brentwood’s nice, man. Quaint place.

党唯予: in a pure vacuum, Yulin, shaanxi. But, a chink never get to go home again. Home isn’t there again. So a chink gonna answer with a fictive location: close proximity to a butcher, a chink grocery store, a wide variety of chink-run chink-made for-chink chinkstaurants, and ideally located on a public transit route.

What is your most treasured possession?

WD: My new identity and the freedom I have to be who I want, not circumscribed to the confines of a set race or whatever. Like I’m not Chinese, I’m white. Like a guy I know saying, I’m not white, I’m South African. That freedom in identity is what I cherish.

党唯予: hahahahahah

um well i guess i don’t treasure much. So a chink gonna say something like my refined taste for filtered coffees. No jokes. I’m gonna say the unique tolerance of spicy food and hick accent i’ve inherited in coming from Yulin, shaanxi, zhongguo. Wo ta made 也就是个山汉. Unlike mr. WD, i’m basically happy with the identity i have and don’t feel a need to pretend i’m something i’m not so people will accept me or to make the world more peaceful etc etc etc bitter etc. yeah i guess fucks would call me cisraced. Ha.

So my most treasured possession is strength of self-resilience and self-reliance.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

WD: That strange in between moment when— nah, I’m gonna say that moment when I realized it would be easier to change my name and stuff. So I guess thanks mr. 党唯予 for that bit of awkward discomfort.

党唯予: that reassures me of the power of discourse.

I guess the lowest depth of misery is what WD speaks of. It’s that point where you can’t accept yourself and have to change in stupid ways like taking a white name or start bring different food outside or worrying about whether that chink food lingers on your mouth or whether a white person is gonna discriminate against you because you aren’t named Sarah Johnson or some stupid shit like that.

What is your favorite occupation?

WD: resting

党唯予: doctor. Lol. No. let’s say being angry.

Who are your favorite writers?

WD: Pearl Buck, Amy Tan, Jane Austen, Shakespeare, Kipling.

党唯予: Joyce Carol Oates, Wally S., Frank O’Hara, maybe Milton.

Who is your hero/heroine of fiction?

WD: Wang Lung / Mulan (?)

党唯予: Jules Wendall / Eve or Black Water’s narrator

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

WD: Amy Tan. Helped Chinese women become women. I’d like to help Chinese men become Chinese men. That would be a worthwhile mission, you know? Like Amy Tan writes about Chinese moms bragging about their daughters and I grew up with Chinese moms bragging about their sons. Yeah, that’s a good struggle.

党唯予: 3 year old poorhomiewei who gave some chink kid in big city day care a concussion for making fun of his hick accent. Yeah, that’s the dream, to go back to the true ballin young chink. Might start a new rap career with the name yc 912.

A chink been really thinking about this recently and it doesn’t make too much sense to identify with some one not a chink him/herself. Like shit, old man Confuzi used to say that all practiced routines are just ways to mess up a chink and take him away from being more versatile. So, in a sense, the only chink a chink should be is a chink.

Don’t believe that anyone should try to ‘identify’ that much with another chink. When a chink ‘identify,’ he cedes his ‘identity’ to someone else’s idea. In a sense, that could alloy and become stronger, also, in a sense that just homogenizes everything.

A chink think a more accurate way to ask this question would use the verb ‘empathize,’ unless of course the goal of this dominant culture is to make clonebots of all the good past people. Like TS Eliot. Shit, man and that tradition shit. Boi believes everything predetermined according to the organic society and what is ‘good.’ A chink tired of that shit. More interesting would be to break out of that vacuum and have traditions on different strands. His tradition thang just trying to promote dominant culture. Anything that would subvert it needs to, of course subvert something. So, if it be a chink who creates something of this ‘tradition,’ it’s two traditions that come together and probably subverts the larger tradition. Ideally, a chink responding because he ‘empathizes’ not because he ‘identifies’ and gives in, since when he gives in, he become a little whiteboi.

What is your greatest regret?

WD: I guess not branching out enough. I don’t want to be part of the model minority, but there’s some value in it, just trying to make friends and shit. I guess what I really regret is not trying to find more stability in life. I feel like to really get something of worth out of ‘creativity’ or whatever, you need some sort of sound foundation.

党唯予: not being able to write as well as a chink’d like in chinkese. That and having a whiteboi name and shit. No more, no less.

How would you like to die?

WD: happy.

党唯予: surrounded by a harem in zhongnanhai and then embalmed and cased in a glass thing in the middle of Tiananmen so all them white tourists can a see a chink

TE: that’s not the question. They’re asking how you want to die not how you want to be remembered.

党唯予: fine, a chink wanna die slurping some lamb noodles and then gagging on the spices and texture of the noodles. But the death gotta be theatrical in some way, like it’s scripted, so not quite gagging, but moreso satisfaction, like if a chink eats his goddamn noodles and just closes his eyes and the body stays composed and a chink is able to maintain the squat position in the middle of the street. Of course, this would not occur in America. Only place to die would be the ancestral home. Yes, that’s a perfect way to die. It would be apotheosis. Yes.

WD / TE: ...

What is your motto?
                                               
WD: stupid question

党唯予: agree to agree

08 May 2016

Firing (blank)s


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(blank)s












A chink with a dick is and will probably always be a small-ish man without too much worth.

A chink with a dick is probably not even a chink with a dick; a chink with a dick is probably a chink actually without a dick because a chink can’t even have a dick because all chinks are bald Tilda Swinton’s or Scarlett Johansen with CGI?

Or,

A chink with a dick is a sex object for a white woman and distinctly made to be white. Cf. “the Asian bro” that’s now so celebrated by TV shows. You see a Josh Chan on Crazy Ex Girlfriend and Vulture will celebrate the shit out of it. Yes, it’s good for an Asian bro, but again, it celebrates a chink with a dick that is a fiat (blank) man.

Or,

A chink with a dick is a goofy-ass skinny bitch.

That’s probably the majority of chinks with dicks. Chinks with dicks though, man, YOU wouldn’t even know they had a dick.

Or,
Go back
A couple years,

A chink with a dick is a strange emasculated threat to most people speaking English. A chink with a dick shouldn’t really be speaking English in the first place, and if a chink is, a chink is probably Japanese autoworkers here to make a quick dime to send home to Saigon.

Vince Chin.

Man, that stuff way back gives some chills. Nice Chinese boy off celebrating bachelor party before getting married to a nice girl and clutching the dream.

Man goes to a strip club with the boys, next thing a chink knows, (blank) autoworker in Highland Park (of them fame) starts heckling a chink for being Japanese. Motherfucker silent majority, jewel of a liberal any-color person really, is against all color. (blank) man and his (blank) friend tail a chink and batter him with a baseball bat. HA. What’s the point of meaning.

When’s the last time a chink taught to remember this stuff?
When’s the last time a chink allowed to talk about this stuff?

I’m still very confused on my own reason for writing this. One, I know that I can’t consolidate what I want to do with it and how I want to do with it. And again, back comes form and content. The most fun I can have in writing this either comes at the expense of views b/c

1.    It’ll be about why (blank) people are complicit in making everyone else’s life worst. Why the best of (blank) people are the worst of (blank) people)

Actually, this is a term I would enjoy further defining.

Why the best of (blank) people are the worst of (blank) people)

The worst of 鬼老, the best of whom are no better than the worst, the whole of which is the same as its part, the negligence and indifference of which is no more distinct than its empathy.

The above quote comes from the “Letters from the (text) editor” sequence. The origin of this quote comes from Kiese Laymon’s How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America. And I guess it’s an idea that doesn’t necessarily need explanation to the people who will read it, but those aren’t necessarily the people who should read it. Because the ones who understand are neither the best or worst or both of (blank)s. The ones who will already understand cannot be (blank). That understanding comes directly from not being (blank). It’s the idea of having something and never being allowed to see or use it.

Nothing can be a perfect Maoist bottom-up reform. When fixation on privacy and happiness occur, there is no way to escape trickle down anything.

A (blank)’s happiness and comfort will always be at the top of a ladder. That’s the point from which everything trickles down. Someone has to be comfortable enough to let things trickle down. These are the best of “(blank) folks.” They’re the ideal of what can be achieved and what can be realized. Models of this revolve downwards and degenerate all the way to lives of crack and heroin. The idea of doubling the comfort and making a (blank) life binds (blank)s to everything below them. And once bound, complicit as the best and worst. The guilt cannot but be universal.

If the cause of the guilt is trickle down, and the actualization of the guilt is bottom up, then what is the progress made in the middle. Or does the (blank) world cut out the middle and widen a gulf.

The comfort of (blank)s would never be secondary to the comfort of another who isn’t a (blank) who doesn’t look alike. A (blank)s livelihood will always be more important.

And so would a non-(blank)s. They would never allow their comfort to be secondary. Or would they. Would a chink change a name to English? Would an Indian dress differently and eat differently? Would a black speak differently? Would a chink make true eye contact? Would I feel welcome in a place where I see no one else like me, yet everyone else is the same? Would I defer education in my own language to learn in English? Would I wish I were (blank)? Can I blame a (blank) for my wishes?

Maybe, maybe not:

I will always value my own comfort no matter what I can or may say. I can continue writing this blog and I can continue “bitching” about this, but I know that my comfort will always be more important. I would never sacrifice my own comfort TRULY for anyone else on the inside. I would only ever defer any comfort to help myself. I pledge allegiance to the right to happiness. I pledge allegiance to keeping my comfort. I pledge allegiance to ignorance. I pledge allegiance to insouciance. I pledge allegiance to the gradual decay of sensibilities. I pledge allegiance to the bifurcation of what is and what is wished. I pledge allegiance to insulate my wishes from my reality. I pledge allegiance to living outside of ideals. I pledge allegiance to letting whatever may be be and what ever wished wished. I pledge allegiance to letting comfort govern. Let be be finale of seem.   

To read in the lyrical “I,” some form of self and some form of speaker come together. The lyric speaker grows apart from what he really is and the reader slowly lets the lyrical “I” become themselves.

Is this truly a pledge of self-sufficiency or is it a pledge of insubordination or is it a pledge to conform to what is demanded.

The worst of (blank)s are then the ones who may read in my italicized “I” passage and empathize. The worst of (blank)s are then most likely the best of (blank)s because I know exactly what kind of (blank)s can or will read this: the best of (blank)s who really don’t need an epithet.

The worst are the best and the best are the worst because comfort is the ruler and the ruler has comfort.

I don’t think (blank) decency truly exists at the top. There are decent (blank)s. There are kind (blank)s. But no (blank) with comfort may be decent. To feel discomfort at simply being is not a discomfort the best of (blank)s can say without sacrificing decency. There is no reason to list the discomforts that the best may feel. Those pains should be erased because they will always choose their own comfort at the expense of non-(blank)s, these best as worst of (blank)s.

Yet, the worst of (blank)s cannot be blamed because they truly aren’t the worst. The worst of (blank)s are put to in the same separation as non-(blank)s. Yet, all sorts of (blank)s will clamor to be a part of this actual, denotative worst of (blank)s. To dress as if a (blank) is poor. To act as if a (blank) is poor. To pretend as if a (blank) is suffering. Because the best of (blank)s cannot. The best of (blank)s have overhauled the meaning of best to mean worst. Solely for them as to be the best, perpetuated is the worst.

And the klan lives on. And the murder of Vince Chin lives on.

第一步已走了,再向前冲吧,
小弟、小妹、大哥、大姐、
妈,爸,阿姨,叔叔。
也都就是一些兄弟姐妹。
也都就是一大堆乱人。
也都就是一大堆杂货。
也都就是一大堆

And the reason for writing is still a mound of dull roots, but this one step is gone. And I don’t think I can truly blame a chink for not trying to learn Chinese. No. It will forever be a chink’s fault if they forget themselves because a (blank) told them to. All chinks should be held accountable for their own failings.

Why (blank)s need to be attacked

(blank)s aren’t scapegoats. I will never allow a (blank) to be a scapegoat for a chink who has erased themselves.

Making a (blank) a scapegoat pins blames on everyone else, defers blame from the root, forgets the reason for the blame. The only way to combat this is to attack (blank)s head on, to blanch them.

it’s much easier to answer this directly.

Why do (blank)s need to be attacked?

(blank)s need to be attacked because (blank)s let everything happen below them without care and refuse to believe that their supposed freedom from history and freedom from color and freedom from structured disadvantage is exclusively theirs, because (blank)s stay in their comfort when no one attacks them, because that comfort can only benefit (blank)s.

When a (blank) is comfortable, everything is secondary to their comfort, colored people follow suit, everything below a (blank) wants to become a (blank) and the result is a chink uncle named tom who thinks the only reason they should exist is to quietly look for comfort while ensuring the comfort of those up top.

Of chinks, Confucian order and peace doesn’t apply to us, we’re not in the Warring States, this isn’t a war between chinks, there’s only (blank)s routing everyone else because they’re comfortable, there’s no need to follow Confucian values and try to help people stay in comfort, because (blank)s don’t deserve to live in comfort at the expense of a chink or anyone else.

When YOU let (blank)s off for complacency and inaction, YOU condone everything wrong with YOUR own life and YOU believe that YOU actually control yourself when the world is a trickle down (blank) comfort zone.

That’s not to say that a chink’s struggles can be all put on (blank)s. This is the difference between proactively attacking blanks and scapegoating them for personal failures.

(blank)s have advantages that are fact. A chink can choose to indulge their advantages and not attack them. Then a chink will blame a (blank). This is scapegoating.

(blank)s have advantages that are fact. A chink can choose to understand the reason behind their advantages and attack them. Then a chink will separate a (blank) from himself. This is attacking.

This also eviscerates the (blank)ness of a chink. Also colors a chink, instead of just leaving a chink a chink but in word.

The only thing that links us is our—separateness.

A chink that doesn’t attack a (blank) is a chink that lets a (blank) live in comfort at the expense of other chinks who are less comfortable. Not even just chinks, anyone below the best qua worst of (blanks). When everyone wants to and lets others live in comfort no one benefits but the (blanks).

So,
Secondary question:

Why do I constantly berate and target (blanks)?

On the surface, it’s fun to target and attack (blanks) for the same reason that it’s fun to target and attack a bigass piece of juicy chicken. It’s fun because it’s probably hitting a low-hanging fruit. Nobody with real eyes isn’t seeing how good a (blank) has it in life.

So, I constantly berate a (blank) for the same reason that a chink wants to eat. A chink gotta eat for fuel and for enjoyment. A chink, or me specifically, ME, I eat because it helps a chink feel like he’s a part of something that he lives in this place, because he can go to the grocery store.

So, berating (blank)s is a way to fuel a chink because
            a chink better feels the surround he’s in once he pierces through the root of (blank)s [or at least attempts to]
            “the second you hear or see some ordinary moment, all its intended targets, all the meanings behind the retreating seconds, as far as you are able to see, come into focus. Hold up, did you just hear, did you just say, did you just see, did you just do that? Then the voice in your head silently tells you to take your foot off your throat because just getting along shouldn’t be an ambition” (Rankine 55).

the second you hear or see some ordinary moment…
the second a chink can feel the way his moments are made, and get all the meanings behind why he has to be a chink, why he will always be a metic why he will always have to be aware that all homes are filled with pain and home is just where the hatred is because a chink has made his home HERE. I am Here.

come into focus
coming into focus is the reason that whites. Hold up, did you just here, did you just say, did you just see, did you just do that?

Then the voice in my head silently tells me to take my foot off my throat because just getting along shouldn’t be an ambition.

(blank)s create the world, every ordinary moment, because they will continue to go on.

I attack (blank)s because they create the atmosphere that made me put my foot on my throat in the first place. I don’t want to choke myself. A chink gotta breathe. But then again, most chinks choose not to breathe.

I’m breathing when I criticize (blank)s. Because the very act of criticizing (blank)s shows that a chink with a dick is a threat, that a chink with a dick does exist, that a chink with a dick is here.

Papa Labas, can you hear?
Vince Chin, can you hear?
老爷,听见不?


I’m here. I’m here. Here