08 May 2016

Firing (blank)s


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(blank)s












A chink with a dick is and will probably always be a small-ish man without too much worth.

A chink with a dick is probably not even a chink with a dick; a chink with a dick is probably a chink actually without a dick because a chink can’t even have a dick because all chinks are bald Tilda Swinton’s or Scarlett Johansen with CGI?

Or,

A chink with a dick is a sex object for a white woman and distinctly made to be white. Cf. “the Asian bro” that’s now so celebrated by TV shows. You see a Josh Chan on Crazy Ex Girlfriend and Vulture will celebrate the shit out of it. Yes, it’s good for an Asian bro, but again, it celebrates a chink with a dick that is a fiat (blank) man.

Or,

A chink with a dick is a goofy-ass skinny bitch.

That’s probably the majority of chinks with dicks. Chinks with dicks though, man, YOU wouldn’t even know they had a dick.

Or,
Go back
A couple years,

A chink with a dick is a strange emasculated threat to most people speaking English. A chink with a dick shouldn’t really be speaking English in the first place, and if a chink is, a chink is probably Japanese autoworkers here to make a quick dime to send home to Saigon.

Vince Chin.

Man, that stuff way back gives some chills. Nice Chinese boy off celebrating bachelor party before getting married to a nice girl and clutching the dream.

Man goes to a strip club with the boys, next thing a chink knows, (blank) autoworker in Highland Park (of them fame) starts heckling a chink for being Japanese. Motherfucker silent majority, jewel of a liberal any-color person really, is against all color. (blank) man and his (blank) friend tail a chink and batter him with a baseball bat. HA. What’s the point of meaning.

When’s the last time a chink taught to remember this stuff?
When’s the last time a chink allowed to talk about this stuff?

I’m still very confused on my own reason for writing this. One, I know that I can’t consolidate what I want to do with it and how I want to do with it. And again, back comes form and content. The most fun I can have in writing this either comes at the expense of views b/c

1.    It’ll be about why (blank) people are complicit in making everyone else’s life worst. Why the best of (blank) people are the worst of (blank) people)

Actually, this is a term I would enjoy further defining.

Why the best of (blank) people are the worst of (blank) people)

The worst of 鬼老, the best of whom are no better than the worst, the whole of which is the same as its part, the negligence and indifference of which is no more distinct than its empathy.

The above quote comes from the “Letters from the (text) editor” sequence. The origin of this quote comes from Kiese Laymon’s How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America. And I guess it’s an idea that doesn’t necessarily need explanation to the people who will read it, but those aren’t necessarily the people who should read it. Because the ones who understand are neither the best or worst or both of (blank)s. The ones who will already understand cannot be (blank). That understanding comes directly from not being (blank). It’s the idea of having something and never being allowed to see or use it.

Nothing can be a perfect Maoist bottom-up reform. When fixation on privacy and happiness occur, there is no way to escape trickle down anything.

A (blank)’s happiness and comfort will always be at the top of a ladder. That’s the point from which everything trickles down. Someone has to be comfortable enough to let things trickle down. These are the best of “(blank) folks.” They’re the ideal of what can be achieved and what can be realized. Models of this revolve downwards and degenerate all the way to lives of crack and heroin. The idea of doubling the comfort and making a (blank) life binds (blank)s to everything below them. And once bound, complicit as the best and worst. The guilt cannot but be universal.

If the cause of the guilt is trickle down, and the actualization of the guilt is bottom up, then what is the progress made in the middle. Or does the (blank) world cut out the middle and widen a gulf.

The comfort of (blank)s would never be secondary to the comfort of another who isn’t a (blank) who doesn’t look alike. A (blank)s livelihood will always be more important.

And so would a non-(blank)s. They would never allow their comfort to be secondary. Or would they. Would a chink change a name to English? Would an Indian dress differently and eat differently? Would a black speak differently? Would a chink make true eye contact? Would I feel welcome in a place where I see no one else like me, yet everyone else is the same? Would I defer education in my own language to learn in English? Would I wish I were (blank)? Can I blame a (blank) for my wishes?

Maybe, maybe not:

I will always value my own comfort no matter what I can or may say. I can continue writing this blog and I can continue “bitching” about this, but I know that my comfort will always be more important. I would never sacrifice my own comfort TRULY for anyone else on the inside. I would only ever defer any comfort to help myself. I pledge allegiance to the right to happiness. I pledge allegiance to keeping my comfort. I pledge allegiance to ignorance. I pledge allegiance to insouciance. I pledge allegiance to the gradual decay of sensibilities. I pledge allegiance to the bifurcation of what is and what is wished. I pledge allegiance to insulate my wishes from my reality. I pledge allegiance to living outside of ideals. I pledge allegiance to letting whatever may be be and what ever wished wished. I pledge allegiance to letting comfort govern. Let be be finale of seem.   

To read in the lyrical “I,” some form of self and some form of speaker come together. The lyric speaker grows apart from what he really is and the reader slowly lets the lyrical “I” become themselves.

Is this truly a pledge of self-sufficiency or is it a pledge of insubordination or is it a pledge to conform to what is demanded.

The worst of (blank)s are then the ones who may read in my italicized “I” passage and empathize. The worst of (blank)s are then most likely the best of (blank)s because I know exactly what kind of (blank)s can or will read this: the best of (blank)s who really don’t need an epithet.

The worst are the best and the best are the worst because comfort is the ruler and the ruler has comfort.

I don’t think (blank) decency truly exists at the top. There are decent (blank)s. There are kind (blank)s. But no (blank) with comfort may be decent. To feel discomfort at simply being is not a discomfort the best of (blank)s can say without sacrificing decency. There is no reason to list the discomforts that the best may feel. Those pains should be erased because they will always choose their own comfort at the expense of non-(blank)s, these best as worst of (blank)s.

Yet, the worst of (blank)s cannot be blamed because they truly aren’t the worst. The worst of (blank)s are put to in the same separation as non-(blank)s. Yet, all sorts of (blank)s will clamor to be a part of this actual, denotative worst of (blank)s. To dress as if a (blank) is poor. To act as if a (blank) is poor. To pretend as if a (blank) is suffering. Because the best of (blank)s cannot. The best of (blank)s have overhauled the meaning of best to mean worst. Solely for them as to be the best, perpetuated is the worst.

And the klan lives on. And the murder of Vince Chin lives on.

第一步已走了,再向前冲吧,
小弟、小妹、大哥、大姐、
妈,爸,阿姨,叔叔。
也都就是一些兄弟姐妹。
也都就是一大堆乱人。
也都就是一大堆杂货。
也都就是一大堆

And the reason for writing is still a mound of dull roots, but this one step is gone. And I don’t think I can truly blame a chink for not trying to learn Chinese. No. It will forever be a chink’s fault if they forget themselves because a (blank) told them to. All chinks should be held accountable for their own failings.

Why (blank)s need to be attacked

(blank)s aren’t scapegoats. I will never allow a (blank) to be a scapegoat for a chink who has erased themselves.

Making a (blank) a scapegoat pins blames on everyone else, defers blame from the root, forgets the reason for the blame. The only way to combat this is to attack (blank)s head on, to blanch them.

it’s much easier to answer this directly.

Why do (blank)s need to be attacked?

(blank)s need to be attacked because (blank)s let everything happen below them without care and refuse to believe that their supposed freedom from history and freedom from color and freedom from structured disadvantage is exclusively theirs, because (blank)s stay in their comfort when no one attacks them, because that comfort can only benefit (blank)s.

When a (blank) is comfortable, everything is secondary to their comfort, colored people follow suit, everything below a (blank) wants to become a (blank) and the result is a chink uncle named tom who thinks the only reason they should exist is to quietly look for comfort while ensuring the comfort of those up top.

Of chinks, Confucian order and peace doesn’t apply to us, we’re not in the Warring States, this isn’t a war between chinks, there’s only (blank)s routing everyone else because they’re comfortable, there’s no need to follow Confucian values and try to help people stay in comfort, because (blank)s don’t deserve to live in comfort at the expense of a chink or anyone else.

When YOU let (blank)s off for complacency and inaction, YOU condone everything wrong with YOUR own life and YOU believe that YOU actually control yourself when the world is a trickle down (blank) comfort zone.

That’s not to say that a chink’s struggles can be all put on (blank)s. This is the difference between proactively attacking blanks and scapegoating them for personal failures.

(blank)s have advantages that are fact. A chink can choose to indulge their advantages and not attack them. Then a chink will blame a (blank). This is scapegoating.

(blank)s have advantages that are fact. A chink can choose to understand the reason behind their advantages and attack them. Then a chink will separate a (blank) from himself. This is attacking.

This also eviscerates the (blank)ness of a chink. Also colors a chink, instead of just leaving a chink a chink but in word.

The only thing that links us is our—separateness.

A chink that doesn’t attack a (blank) is a chink that lets a (blank) live in comfort at the expense of other chinks who are less comfortable. Not even just chinks, anyone below the best qua worst of (blanks). When everyone wants to and lets others live in comfort no one benefits but the (blanks).

So,
Secondary question:

Why do I constantly berate and target (blanks)?

On the surface, it’s fun to target and attack (blanks) for the same reason that it’s fun to target and attack a bigass piece of juicy chicken. It’s fun because it’s probably hitting a low-hanging fruit. Nobody with real eyes isn’t seeing how good a (blank) has it in life.

So, I constantly berate a (blank) for the same reason that a chink wants to eat. A chink gotta eat for fuel and for enjoyment. A chink, or me specifically, ME, I eat because it helps a chink feel like he’s a part of something that he lives in this place, because he can go to the grocery store.

So, berating (blank)s is a way to fuel a chink because
            a chink better feels the surround he’s in once he pierces through the root of (blank)s [or at least attempts to]
            “the second you hear or see some ordinary moment, all its intended targets, all the meanings behind the retreating seconds, as far as you are able to see, come into focus. Hold up, did you just hear, did you just say, did you just see, did you just do that? Then the voice in your head silently tells you to take your foot off your throat because just getting along shouldn’t be an ambition” (Rankine 55).

the second you hear or see some ordinary moment…
the second a chink can feel the way his moments are made, and get all the meanings behind why he has to be a chink, why he will always be a metic why he will always have to be aware that all homes are filled with pain and home is just where the hatred is because a chink has made his home HERE. I am Here.

come into focus
coming into focus is the reason that whites. Hold up, did you just here, did you just say, did you just see, did you just do that?

Then the voice in my head silently tells me to take my foot off my throat because just getting along shouldn’t be an ambition.

(blank)s create the world, every ordinary moment, because they will continue to go on.

I attack (blank)s because they create the atmosphere that made me put my foot on my throat in the first place. I don’t want to choke myself. A chink gotta breathe. But then again, most chinks choose not to breathe.

I’m breathing when I criticize (blank)s. Because the very act of criticizing (blank)s shows that a chink with a dick is a threat, that a chink with a dick does exist, that a chink with a dick is here.

Papa Labas, can you hear?
Vince Chin, can you hear?
老爷,听见不?


I’m here. I’m here. Here

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