03 March 2016

On Eating Tacos with Gringos

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Sometimes a chink will get out of his hermit shell and go out with other people. Generally, this involves a chink telling either lesser chink or indian boi that we’re going out. Every time they do go out, a chink takes them somewhere new in the city. And almost every attempt, they bitch out because they’re scared of taking public transportation.

The other day when a chink asked if they wanted to go out for tacos, they surprisingly complied and off we went, on the dangerous metro. At Taco del Rey, we waited 45 for the other hoes they invited.
I. Catalytic event
Some ho, pale, white, ginger, ate a taco like a burrito. The corn tortilla nicely supplied by the nice hermoso servidor mexicano was quickly pissed upon by this gringa. She first slathered the weakass salsa (for white-people) all over the damn tortilla like a fucking lunchable.

Ho used a knife like she was buttering toast.

As if this weren’t enough, she proceeds to drop the stingiest amounts of cebolla, cilantro, y limón sobre el taco barbacoa. Lesser chink y yo la preguntamos si quería comer un kilo de barbacoa con nosotros. Gringa was like, sureeeee, fineeeeee, I guess. Hihi. Then proceeds to drop maybe two bits of meat on the damn taco. Probably didn’t want to get her white hands dirty with the food of the people.

II. Other equally egregious things
proper enjoyment of chink cuisine/
can't handle it, don't go

  • White people and Hard Shell tacos
  • Eating dumplings with a fork and knife
  • White people eating rice with a spoon
  • Asking chink food to be less spicy
  • Thinking that clean restaurants mean good service
  • Fear of chink hole in the ground toilets
  • Refusing msg (most sacred gastrology) in food
  • Fear of non rich man meat cuts
  • Not eating family style at chinkstaurants
  • Whiteman selling chink food

III. Characters
Non-dog eating bitches: culturally tiering colonialists. Dog abuse is different. Most dog meat is farmed like a pig or cow blah blah blah

Vegans: lol. Keep eating your kiwis from thousands of miles away. #shippingcosts #greenhousegas #algore

Non-cilantro tolerant hoes (allegies exluded): bruuuhhhhhh

IV. Locale
Jeeeentalon and casgrain-ish. Green to berriuqam, orange to jeeeeentalllllon

V. Conclusion
NEVER AGAIN (with gringAs), fucking ruined my taquexperience
tacos were great as always. habanero sauce: 30/10. 
tacos: 11/10 (sidenote, 1kilo of barbacoa may be too much) (al pastor probably better) 
El rey del taco = el rey del taco(s de mtl)

VI. Music
Face | Urinal | Funeral

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