18 March 2016

CCBS 610 LECTURE 1: chink holidays and whiteman holidays


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a whiteboi would kill himself doing this lol


(DISCLAIMER: THE INITIAL VULGAR RANT IS A PREFACE TO A POEM THAT'S A MORE PALATABLE VERSION OF THE RANT, SKIP IF YOU CHOOSE, DON'T SKIP IF YOU WANT THE FULL POORHOMIEWEIEXPERIENCE) (SCROLL HALF WAY UNTIL "OUR SPRING FESTIVALS")

^lol a chink censoring himself b/c of past expriences (a chink bout to get meta, b/c it's important yall read the link to another blogpost about the McGill group that censored poorhomiewei for speaking out on chink voice suppression) (kthx) lol—look, a chink used an epanalepsis. ha. maybe, maybe, a chink trapping himself in the lols of the censor shit maybe. now a chink trapping himself in maybes? trapping himself in uncertainty? is a chink just trapped? maybe that's why a chink loves smoking to destress, maybe. shit, a chink just did it again, shit. can't escape this crazy chink cant. AHHHHHH bruh, a chink just got himself ahhhh. OK no, now a chink just messing around. shit don't even sound natural no more.

what did we learn class?

we learned about epanalepsis and the trapping of the chink voice, poorhomiewei!

no. yall bitches learned about epanalepsis and your trapping of the CHINESE voice. and that's mothafucking MR. poorhomiewei.

yes

yes, MR. POORHOMIEWEI

yes, mr. poorhomiewei

yes, Mr. Poorhomiewei, sir.

yes, mr. poorhomiewei, sir

Yes, Mr. Poorhomiewei, sir.

Yes, Mr. Poorhomiewei, sir.

So, class, what did you learn today?

We learned about epanalepsis and our trapping of the Chinese voice, Mr. Poorhomiewei, sir. 

Good.


COURSE SYLLABUS
MARCH 19TH: THE CHINKS AND THEIR LACK OF HOLIDAYS
            ABRAMS TERMS: Epanalepsis, Intertext, Polyvocality
            LEARNING OUTCOMES: Make of it what you will
                                                          Absence of chink representation
                                                          White kids, typology, day-drinking
            RECOMMENDED READING: "On the Chink Voice and Esteem"
                                                                "Censored Chink at McGill"
                                                                The Wasteland (lol) 

you know what's fucked up? a white girl asked poorhomiewei the other day why a prof scheduled an assignment on st patricks day and didn't agree to reschedule it. 
a chink sees bitches always talking about how everyday's a celebration of whiteman and shit, and a chinks like, shit, all yall pimping posing for fucking ‪‎st patricks day, skipping school and shit. shit bruh, i wish it was ok for a chink to: 
  1. just drink on a day 
  2. dick around 
  3. run around like stupid honks on the streets 
  4. disrupt traffic
  5. yell obnoxiously and be absolved
  6. celebrate being yellow
shit instead we gotta be made fun of in commercials and put on a carnival the white man tries to commodify. shit. like we got chinknewyear and shit but lol all that is is a time to remind a chink is and will always be a chink. 

well you know what was always bullshit to a chink? back when poorhomiewei was younghomiewei, whiteman school expected that everyone brings some food to class when it was their birthday. fair. promote this sharing bullshit. whatever. chink cousin wei probs made that box your bitchass cookies was in. anyways, for chinknewyear, a chink was expected to bring something ethnic shit. shit. you people get weeks off school for fucking jesus christ and i dont get one for chinknewyear? 

bruh, chinks need to start day drinking here in whiteman/nativeman land and wear wack ass knockoffs of chink clothing. lol like wear red and say a ho is respecting chink culture. lol. like yeah, this ho wearing green so he's respecting irish culture 
hahahahahahaha

fuck it though, a chink gonna be nice for once. a chink gonna share his holiday with all the whitefucks, because a chink knows that whiteboi couldn't handle chink new year. so a chink thinks, shit, we should let the whiteman celebrate with us once. all a whiteboi needs to do is:

  1. set off illegal fireworks from dawn to midnight
  2. binge drink baijiu 
  3. chain smoke a carton of zhonghua
  4. hate yourself the whole day for being a chink (oh wait) (shit, you're not) (ha) (so, on one day, a chink will be exceptional?) (damn) (DAAAAAMMNN)
(lets see whitebois compete with poorhomiewei, a mongolian-tangut bred, baijiu chugging, zhonghua smoking, firework lighting, pork dumpling making, self-loathing, joyce carol oates reading, crazy chink) bruhhhhh

Notice how a chink is violating many of his principles, most notably letting whiteboi pollute his culture by embarassing himself. well, that's just like taking out a lil bitch to binge drink.

yeah let's do that. white now (lol)

shit, makes a chink feel like shit. shit. here's a bitchass poem on it. fuck. 


:

Our Spring Festivals

They say it is the new year / Of the Chinese
As I walk downtown / Through the just made slush
Hair already cut across my scalp with
No work left, / No                requested /
While some chinks will try to speak
     The One time in a year
Before going back at daybreak / to /
          (THESNOW).


And My Yellow Sun:

Because it’s our new year / We can dine
Together / babble on prosperity and hand
Out envelopes RED, filled, / With nothing
but our best

Attempts at money / then
Finding only empty red BANK trinkets
Holding only inspirational fiats
Reminding only of Fortune
Cookies Me no lookee
Since Me first arrivee
                    So take the year
Of monkeys and the Dragon and dogs
And all the others in the zodiac /

A language sounding
So strange and measured / in Chinese-Eng-

lish translations we try
To piece it together /
To translate a home
Of symbols and images
to letters

Sometimes I’d rather have burgers,
some friedchicken or FRIES,maybePOPsoda;
It feels so right
That I had two coffees a sandwich and muffin
For lunch.
For dinner, thankfully, though
I can eat my fragrant mutton and offal

And we [NOT
YOU] are all these things of tripe and feet and claws / and eyes and necks and necks and necks and necks / and necks and necks and n—
Compiled into a day to piece, to bring / me back —
HA! WE HAVE IT EVERYDAY! —
No. Probably every other day that looks /
Like it all belonged to us / but, probably, not at all /
Just like a duck neck / pickled, brined, maybe soaked /
Whatever, it’s ye’d in the good paozhi as we

yizhijiukongzhe,danzongchibushangrou /

leave the bones.
The neck / Spat up, Cracked up / On Walmart
Napkins as we / Sip on hot maybe lukewarm water /
Since we can’t afford teas of boughs of bricks of
Bodhisattva of Iron of Well of Dragons of Robes of Big Red HA
|铁观音、龙井、大红袍|—
DONTDRINKIT, 你当成你是谁呀,傻屄?
Boiling away as somebody’s mother made it
In rust kettles / poured later
Into 双喜brand
蓝绿桔粉(没有红色得?)
塑料盆.


At least there’s this new year / At least we still have this /
Empty show of dislocated pride / And this is all that we are: /

Cold idioms of broken bridges vaulting us
“To and fro in the earth,” / “walking upon the sea”
Towards a muddy, black fragrance,
Of western smoke,

Across Water.


:

Assignment 1: write a close reading of the poem “Our Spring Festivals” that provides ample textual backing for a honed claim on the jarring effects of polyvocality. Follow MLA citation guidelines.




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